Thursday, February 28, 2002

Every night I put my son to bed and he wants a story read to him. I go into his bookcase and pull out one of the books that I've read to him a hundred times. Only instead of getting a story like "Hop on Pop" or "Blue's Clues", I make up my own. My latest story is about a kid named Picking Peter. He mistakes one of his boogers for a caterpillar one day after trying to hide the fact that he picks his nose from his mother. He finds it later in his house, and stuffs it away in a coffee can and when his mother goes to serve coffee one day to her friends, out flies a beautiful butterfly, much to Peter's amazement. Needless to say, Peter now picks his nose twice as much. Problem is, I think my son likes that story.

One of these two people is a sports traitor. Guess which one?

Wednesday, February 27, 2002

Lately, I've noticed allot of articles about personal websites. Some try and tell you what is the perfect blog and some rate others by what they read and see. I don't think most of these people have the slightest idea what makes a good site and what doesn't. They seem to think that blogging is a trend and they have no clue. Most blogs are just personal diaries or thoughts or feeling or events that are taking place in other peoples lives. Some, like me don't get into their personal life as it's not that exciting, and stick to thoughts and tidbits that amuse. Some sites are just links to other things that the author has found amusing or newsworthy. Some are topics, tests, or quotes from other sites. Today alone I read about a marriage breaking up, a woman who is getting over her boyfriend, a guy who is wrongly taking anger management classes because he's feuding with his ex-wife, and another guy who talks to his penis. It's all about variety and choice, and most people who have a site don't keep it up because of fame or hits or what will make them popular, they do it because they like to express themselves. Keep up the good work.

Tuesday, February 26, 2002

How many times will I get these emails before they figure out that I'm not that stupid?

Dr. Tony Echie
TEL:234-1-7746827
FAX:234-1-7590474
HOME TEL:234-1-7742865

ATTN:Sir,

STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL & URGENT.

I am a member of the Federal Government of Nigeria Contract Award and Monitoring Committee in the Nigerian National PetroleumCorporation(NNPC). Sometime ago, a contract was awarded to a foreign firm in NNPC by my committee. This contract was over invoiced to the tune of US$21.5M. This was done deliberately. The over-invoicing was a deal by my committee to benefit from the project. We now desire to transfer this money which is in a Suspense Account with NNPC in any Overseas Account which we
expect you to provide for us. For providing the account where we shall remit the money, you will be entitled to 30% of the money. 70%
will be for me and my partners.I would require the following:
(1) Name of Company and Address(As Beneficiary )
(2) Contact Telephone and Fax No. of Beneficiary
(3) Banking Information
The above information would be used to make formal applications as a matter of procedure for the release of the money and onward transfer to your account. It does not matter whether or not your company does contract projects of this nature described here, the
assumption is that your company won the major contract and subcontracted it out to other companies. More often than not, big trading
companies or firms of unrelated fields win major contracts and subcontract to more specialized firms for execution of such contracts. We have strong and reliable connections and contacts at the Apex Bank and Federal Ministry of Finance and we have no doubt that all this money will be released and transferred if we get the necessary foreign partner to assist us in this deal. Therefore, when the business is successfully concluded we shall through our same connections withdraw all documents used from all the concerned
Government Ministries for 100% security. We are civil servants and we will not want to miss this opportunity.
Please contact me immediately through my Tel Number Only 234-1-7746827, whether or not you are interested in this deal. If you are not, it will enable me scout for another foreign partner to carry out this deal. But where you are interested, send the required documents aforementioned herein without delay, as time is of the essence in this business. I wait in anticipation of your fullest co-operation.

Yours faithfully,
Dr. Tony Echie.

Maybe he just earned the right to get all my junk emails forwarded to him for the rest of the year. Want to send your junk emails too? His email address is tonyechie2@yahoo.com. If you're worried about him getting your email address, then send them to me at guruvious@hotmail.com, and I'll take off your address and forward them to him. I'd really appreciate it. He won't, but I will.

Monday, February 25, 2002

There's a couple questions I've been thinking about when it comes to my three year old son, Hayden:
Will he have my sense of humor?
Will he have my temper?
Will he want to play hockey, or will he choose a sport that I never played?
Will he get have a girlfriend, or boyfriend?
Will he get into trouble with the law?
Will he get into trouble with drugs?
Will he realize that his parents can be his best friends?
Will it be too late for us when he does?
Somehow, I don't think that Mrs. Cleo can give me these answers.

Friday, February 22, 2002


Yeeeeeeeehaw, lets drink!

Thursday, February 21, 2002

When are we going to realize that burying people isn't a great idea, and implement forced cremation? I mean, sooner or later, they're going to run out of room burying bodies, and start rethinking the whole scheme of things. I read somewhere that if they need to move a cemetery, they need written permission from every family that has a family member buried at that cemetery. That can't be very easy, especially for the older ones. In this age of recycle, and environmentally friendly thinking, sooner or later they're going to outlaw burials. It would probably help the organ donation programs as well. Just a thought...

Wednesday, February 20, 2002

As the clock ticks over from 8:01PM on Wednesday, February 20th, 2002 time will (for sixty seconds only) read in perfect symmetry. To be more precise 20:02, 20/02, 2002. It is an event which has only ever happened once before, and is something which will never be repeated. The last occasion that time read in such a symmetrical pattern was long before the days of the digital watch or 24 hour clock. 10:01AM, on January 10, 1001. And because the clock only goes up to 23:59, it is something that will never happen again.

Okay, what about 11:11, 11/11, 1111? That would be twice before. Am I right or not? I really need to be right on this one.
The other days post got me thinking about doll collectors. What possesses people to collect these things? My mother in law collects dolls. There's little girls in different dresses and even little boys in different outfits, and they all have different names. Some are holding teddy bears and some have pets or bottles. Every time we go over there, we see the large glass cabinet in the dinning room full of dolls, and it creeps me out. My three year old son always wanted to see them, until I told him that that's where Grandma puts all the bad girls and boys. He doesn't care much for them anymore either...

Tuesday, February 19, 2002

This just makes me giggle...

Monday, February 18, 2002

The funniest thing I saw today.

The funniest thing I heard today:
Re: a delivery to The War Amps of Canada.
Dispatcher: They're open open from 8-12 daily.
Me: Don't you find it odd that the War Amps are only open half days?

The funniest thing I read today.
Remember the days when Murphy the Molar came to your school and you were told to go brush your teeth, then chew this red tablet, and they would show you how badly you brushed your teeth? Do they still do that, or is it a bad idea to have a bunch of schoolkids running around with red goo oozing out of their mouths? What kind of cereal did you manage to bribe Mom to buy to get the cool prizes? I had three brothers, so unless I went with Mom to the grocery store and walked two miles, carrying brown bags full of groceries home, I didn't score the magic decoder ring. I don't reminisce here enough, and I think its because of all the poundings you take when you have three brothers.

Friday, February 15, 2002

Thanks to Kaydee, I almost forgot the Friday links:

-Duct Tape Fashions
-Bag Bed
-Turd Twister

Well, well, well. Canada seems to have gotten the shaft at the Olympic Games. If you haven't heard already, in the pairs figure skating, Canada's Jamie Sale and David Pelletier skated a flawless skate and were thought to have clinched the gold metal. French figure skating judge Marie-Reine Le Gougne was pressured to "act in a certain way" before she voted to give the gold to the Russians instead of the Canadians, and the Canadians came away with a silver metal. The controversy starts, and next thing you know, it all starts to come out. Now, this isn't some minor event, this is the Olympics, and if the whole world starts saying that they're tainted, the outcome will be horrendous on the future games. They're talking about this on every television and radio station up here and trying to figure out how to fix the judging as its not based on speed or goals, and I think I've come up with a solution. They should take about 15-20 people who have competed in events as skaters, so they'll understand how hard/easy some of the moves are, and just seconds before the event, draw the seven that they need to judge them. That way they'll be no "fixes" on unless they can get to at least half the group. Oh yeah, for the record, I don't watch or follow figure skating. Honest. No, really.

Thursday, February 14, 2002

Happy Valentines Day. I went to Zellers last Tuesday to get a prescription filled for my son and happened to notice the newly set-up rack of Valentine's cards as I was about to walk by. I stopped dead in my tracks as last year came to mind... February 14th, about 6pm, standing inside Wal-Mart staring at was once a full rack of Valentines cards to see about three different ones left. Notice another balding man approaching with that "deer in the headlights look", so I grabbed one that I thought was looking best out of the remains, to read "To Our Darling Wife...from the both of us.. Needless to say, I went through the full two foot section dedicated for men's cards for their wives, then proceeded to the other forty foot section for cards dedicated for children to their mom's. This morning I actually remembered where I had hid the cards since last week, signed them and left them sitting by the pile of dirty dishes beside the sink. That outta hold her...

Wednesday, February 13, 2002

Is there a reason that on the coldest windiest night of the winter, that you're guaranteed to need gas in your car? You can drive around for as long as your car will run, and not find a full serve station either. When you do give in, about 40 miles out of your way, and go to pump your own, the station attendant will take what seems like five minutes to turn the pump on. Then it will keep shutting itself off when you squeeze the trigger all the way, so you're stuck pumping with your bare hand. By the way, don't get a car wash when its forty below, unless you're going to carry the lock de-icer in your coat pocket.
The redesign was easier than I thought. I spent about an hour this morning on it, and an hour last night screwing around with a test site that I use for just such occasions. This is what Blogger gives you to work with, then I switched the left box with the right, added my links, and changed the colours. The background came from this site, and badda-bing, badda-boom, I'm patting myself on the back. Now if only I could get rid of that Blogger banner...
Ta-da!

Tuesday, February 12, 2002

I been around the world and I, I, I...can't remember where I stole this link from. It's a site that predicts how long you have to live. Now my prediction came up as "You were born on Tuesday, March 29, 1966. You have lived 13,104 days and have 18,140 days left to live. Lets make them count!" and "Statistically you should die on Friday October 13, 2051 at 10:20:46 AM" . So when do I start worrying? Hell, I haven't even got RRSP's yet. Should I not make a will until the year 2050, to save me from all those costly changes that I'll have to make with a lawyer? I'll be 86 then. Will I know it? Will I die in my sleep, or will it be a painful death? This damn site just isn't giving me enough information!

Monday, February 11, 2002

You either love her or hate her. I don't have a stand on this issue, as she doesn't effect my life. I'm talking about Britney Spears. I know you figured that unless I was posting naked pictures or parody websites about her, she would never be mentioned by me. The problem is that everyone's talking about why they hate her, or god forbid, like her, and I was pondering where I stand on the issue. They don't play her music on the stations I listen too, and my daughter is only 14 months old and therefore doesn't have those teeny bopper magazines around the house yet or play her records over and over again until my wife grinds her teeth. I really don't know much about her, so I can't say that I hate her. Besides, she'll probably be gone after her new movie debuts. I still want to know how she makes her boobs change sizes on demand though.

Friday, February 08, 2002

Its Friday again. Time for your links:

-PeePantsBoys
-TubCat
-The Wisdom of SuperModels
-PreDate Confidence Builder
-Divine Interventions

Three guys I want to live next door to:

-Peter Pan
-Skirt Man
-Bettina

Thursday, February 07, 2002

If you don't read mecawilson everyday, you should. You really, really should. I would pay to read his site, as apposed to asking my readers to pay to take my wife out for dinner, to make up for the time I've spent on my site, ignoring her.
(via:Eden)((her comment:#80-mine:#71))
What the Hell's going on in Minnesota. Nobody went to the Twins games and they were the victim of Major League Baseball's idea of contraction. Well, due to lease agreements in their current stadium, they will get to play another year. Will anyone go to the games? The Vikings have been whining for a new stadium for a few years now, and the North Stars left for Dallas because of the problems they were having at the Met. What I don't understand is, if the North Stars were only getting about 6000 people in attendance per game, and they tried everything, including cheerleaders in the stands, then why are the Wild selling out every night? Why do you have the biggest mall in the free world, but won't build a decent sports stadium? Must be all women in that city...

Wednesday, February 06, 2002

Has anyone else noticed that nobody seems to be spotting Elvis around lately? Damn, he must really be dead then...

Tuesday, February 05, 2002

Still here. I'm thinking of a job change since my Super Bowl prediction. If you missed the commercials, like most people who don't live in the States, there's a link here for them. The funniest was the "Kevin Bacon" one from Visa, and about three different Bud ones. The Yahoo one was just plain strange. Not the funny strange either. I personally think the flag waving was a bit much. If you don't understand what I mean, see this. The commercials that implied that buying drugs was supporting terrorism, was indeed laughable. If you've read a newspaper in the last six months, you'll know who supported the Taliban inappropriately.

Friday, February 01, 2002

Yesterday, during our first major snowfall of this year, one of our drivers from work crashed his truck into a bus shelter. Thankfully, no-one was inside that shelter. He was coming down a hill and there were two cars stopped at the intersection's red light. Instead of taking out a vehicle, he took out the shelter. Last night when I got home, I flicked over to the 11:00 news, and they're showing clips in the opening trailer of people shoveling and cars whipping out. Guess what catches my eye? Someone had footage of him taking out the bus shelter, and I had a blank tape and a VCR. I brought the tape to work today and everyone laughed except the driver in his rental truck. Maybe he'll find it funny when the snow melts.