Thursday, January 31, 2002

Mother Nature is kicking our ass today. First real snowfall this year, so we can't complain too much, I suppose.

Wednesday, January 30, 2002


The Pats will be within 4 points of the Rams. They may not win, but I wouldn't be surprised. They stopped the running game of the Steelers and that's something that even the Raven's couldn't do. Anyone wanna bet on the spread? Winners can be guest bloggers on eachothers sites.

Tuesday, January 29, 2002

My name is Guruvious, and I watch the commercials.
*Hello Guruvious*
It all started when I had a satellite dish and instead of watching the Superbowl feed through a local station, I watched from an American station. I was hooked. Instead of the same five ads over and over again, I was blessed with intelligent commercials with wit and creativity. I even taped the game with the commercials.
*Oooo...ahhhhh*
Yes, it's true. Now there's a problem arising. My friends have found out about it and they want to come over and watch the game at my house. They're going to bring their screaming snot-nosed kids too. It will be hell. I need help. I'll miss the commercials...

Monday, January 28, 2002

On Saturday I took my three year old son to see the Great Asian Dinosaurs at the Royal Ontario Museum. The first thing we noticed was that they were all small dinosaurs. Also, we should of came when the exhibit first got here in December, as there's nothing left but skeletons.

Friday, January 25, 2002

It's been awhile, but heres your Friday Five:

-Midget Breeding Habits
-Virtual Model
-Army Men Porn
-Poke the Bunny
-Beauty Kit (um...warning!)

Thursday, January 24, 2002

I've updated my links. I added a few new ones that I read daily, and adjusted a few that had their names changed. They are in particular order so don't be offended. If I get the time, I'll put them in some type of order. Now the question...if you have a site that you've linked for awhile, and then it changes and seems to be loosing it's finesse and it's getting to the point that you don't really read it anymore, do you to remove it? Do you just remove it, and it doesn't bother you, or do you try and redesign and remove it then so if the site owner notices and asks you, you can lie and say that "I must of accidentally left it off"?

Wednesday, January 23, 2002

As I was reading a daily read, it reminded me of a incident on public transit a few years back that I think you all may get a kick out of. I was riding the Subway train downtown a few years back, and we stopped at York Mills station. Now to most of you who don't live in the Toronto area, it's a better than average neighborhood. The doors open and on gets a women in her mid thirty's in a full length fur coat. She looks around, and their is no available seats. Normally, I give up my seat as I was raised to do so, but before I can gather my things, she spies a drunk sleeping on a bench and decides to rouse him so she can sit next to him. She walks over and bumps the man and says "C'mon, get up. You only paid one fair, you only get one seat". He doesn't budge. She now bumps him harder and yells for him to move. By now, everyone on the train has an eye on what is going on down at our end of the train. One more real hard knee from the woman, and the drunk turns his head and proceeds to puke all down the woman's fur coat. Everyone on that train's eyes opened as wide as they could, most gasped, but I think I laughed the hardest.

Tuesday, January 22, 2002

I waited, and waited, and it's finally here.


(snagged from: bring it around town)

Monday, January 21, 2002

As my wife was driving away this weekend with the kids in car...
My son: "Look, Daddy's waving."
My wife: No, son...waving is only with one arm in the air.

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

Friday, January 18, 2002

Thursday, January 17, 2002

Was watching TV the other night when a commercial came on for McDonalds. I pointed out to the wife that Ronald was looking a little different and she noticed it too. I started wondering how many different actors had played Ronald on their ads in North America, and my guess is at least six. I will find this out. I started thinking about other conglomerate fast food places and their ads as the newest Subway one I've seen has replaced Jared with Clay Henry. Now I know Jared was getting old and they needed something new, but I find it kind of funny that they happened to push the fact that Clay is a firefighter, at a time when we are all pretty proud of our firefighters. Clay just doesn't seem right to me. He looks like the kid in school who always tried to steal your lunch money. Also, does this mean that Jared was unemployed or worked in the mailroom somewhere, so his occupation isn't as glorious as being a firefighter? What's with the Colonel lately? The original passed on years ago, so the have a cartoon one who seems very hip and trendy towards rap music, even though we all know that old gray haired guys from the south aren't exactly like that.

Wednesday, January 16, 2002

No blog til the work stops!

Monday, January 14, 2002

Since Hoopty is interviewing all of us on his site one by one, I'd thought it would be fun to interview him:

1. How long were you on the internet reading other sites before you got your own?
I've been on the 'neck for a long time, but I didn't think about this until C.C. Chapman showed me his. Once I saw that and how cool it was I wanted one of my own. His was first and it was fabulous. So was his blog.

2.What is your favourite site(s)?
Sites come and go with me. Depends on what kinda mood I'm in, but it's usually one that's funny and crazy. There's so much ca-ca on the 'neck that it gets overwhelming. Off the top of my head I'd have to say that I currently think the cameltoe.com site is one of the funniest things I've read in awhile, and I also love dopey stuff.....wait, that IS dopey stuff. I'm one of those people that just starts clicking links inside links until I hit a wall. Too fun...

3.Do you think about the internet when you're not on it?
All the time. I'm a internet whore. Anyone on here that says they aren't is lying. It kills me when I read something about people getting
real lives and stuff. Hell, this IS a real life and one that I'm perfectly happy with. And I don't have a social problem.....really.....usually.....sometimes......okay, I do. Happy
now?

4.Do you think about suicide when the internet is down?
Suicide and no connection go hand in hand. Hell, I think of suicide when I'm online, especially if I go to a place that makes me gag on my pretzels so hard I wanna jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, choking the whole way to the water. Sounds like fun........

5.Do you threaten people by saying "I'll get naked"?
I can't imagine them taking it any other way. Usually they're pretty good about it. People are always asking me for free nudie pics, so even they might not admit it, they really just wanna see my luscious nekkid booty. I comply. I have a PayPal account that takes credit cards.

6.What is your real job/source of income?
When I was in the adult film industry towards the end of its heyday, my girlfriend at the time Tracy Lords (yeah, Crazy Tracy....thought she was a nurse, huh?) was telling me at an orgy once that I should get in legitimate film. She saw my true acting ability and the way I make sex faces. It didn't work out. The only people that wanted me was Disney, and just for the Jungle Book movies. It was pretty disheartening. They never saw my true potential, so I moved back to San Francisco and became the highest-grossing prostitute in the tri-neighborhood area, which I do nights. By day I work at a computer company. That's not nearly as much fun, but they're good about the nudity aspect, since I won't blog with clothes on.

7.What is your beverage of choice?
Water. I can't get enough of it. I don't drink alcohol since it makes me promiscuous. Water gets me so charged. More people should try it.

8.Are you a child of divorce?
Kind of. I'm the first "Tube-Tied Baby". It was during the shocker at the catholic church. My mom was a nun who used to take special "donations" for.....do you really want to hear this..?

9.What kind of radio station do you listen to?
I like listening to extreme right-wing paranoia radio. It's hilarious. I also love cruising the AM stations looking for those conspiracy theory freaks. That and NPR. I need some pompous left-wing rhetoric as well.

10.Have you ever been to Vegas before going in this August to BlogCon 2002?
Yeah, I was Sammy Davis, Jr.'s towel-boy for the longest time. I never saw as many boobies in one place. I grew up loving boobies. I still do. Even better than cartoons.

11.Can I publish this for my two readers?
Sure, as long as you promise not to get all psycho on me and start stalking me. People like that should be locked up. So yeah......

Friday, January 11, 2002

Have you ever noticed that when you're at a store and the cashier rings up the purchase and it comes to $23.21, that women are the only ones that try to give the exact change? It could take a woman forty minutes to go through every pocket in her purse to try and match that amount, no matter how many people are in line. When I had a purchase come to $11.28, I would give the cashier a twenty dollar bill, and a dollar twenty eight in change. Do you know how many times I got $9.00 back instead of a ten dollar bill because it confused the minimum wage cashier? Maybe that's why men never give the exact amount.

Thursday, January 10, 2002

My wife had a clairvoyant come to our house the other night and get a reading with some of her friends and family. Its always women who get these things done as men figure the only future they want predicted is the outcome of sports events. I don't bug her about it as I let her do her thing, and she lets me do mine, but I happened to ask her last night what the physic said. I half expected her to tell me that the physic said "You'll live a long happy life and you'll be wealthy and blah, blah, blah...", but instead was told that the physic said that "There's an eight year old girl's spirit in this house and she plays with your son and sometimes she brings in friends to play here too." Now my son Hayden, who's three, we sometimes catch saying "Stay right there, I'll be right back", and we try to figure out who he's talking to, and once he told us to "come upstairs and meet the witch." Now when he motioned the witch, he was about two and so we followed him upstairs and he really seemed to be looking for someone, but he couldn't find her. My wife who has been to a few physic's before, always says that her grandmother's spirit is in the house and if we think we smell baking, its just her and everything's fine. Her grandmother died before Hayden was born, and he has never even seen pictures of her, let alone really know who she was. My wife got out some photo albums and pulled out a picture of her grandmother and when she showed it to Hayden, he says "That's the witch". Now with all these spirits in the house, I'm starting to wonder if we should be more careful in what we do when we think no-one's watching.

Wednesday, January 09, 2002

Everyday I drive the same route to work at the same time and because it's pretty early, there's not allot of traffic. If it rains, its bumper to bumper. Do more people drive when it rains as apposed to taking public transit? Are people leaving earlier due to rain, therefore making everyone late, or do these extra people set their alarms ahead, wake up, look out the window, and if its crappy out, leave right away?

Tuesday, January 08, 2002

Wow, Dave died last night. I'll miss his acting on those commercials. Maybe they'll lower their flags to half mast and possibly raise their burgers to half beef.
I started wondering the other day if doctors had their own doctors? Do you think if you found out who your doctor's doctor was, that you'd rather go to them than him? Would he then be called a "specialist"? What about lawyers? How do we find this out?

Monday, January 07, 2002

There is something I've been wondering and I'm a little hesitant to write about, but hopefully you will take this with a grain of salt. Do you think professional hockey players get sick of hearing the National Anthem? I mean, they play about 82 games a year and before every single game, they play the anthem. If they're playing for a Canadian team, they have to listen to our anthem, and if playing against an American team, they have to hear the Canadian and the American anthems. I hear Americans are standing on sides of roads with raw eggs waiting for cars to pass that aren't flying flags or other symbols of patriotism right now, so it's a touchy subject, but hearing that same anthem over & over would probably grate on my nerves.

Thursday, January 03, 2002

The good fairy Guruvious has just visited and granted you one wish: If you could drop one mundane routine thing that you do on a daily or weekly basis like laundry, driving, sleeping, banking, showering or eating that you could bypass and it would have no ill effect on your regular lifestyle, what would it be? Mine would have to be shaving. I absolutely hate it.
Now watch out for the bad fairy Guruvious...

Wednesday, January 02, 2002

Wanna kill some...er...time? Try this.
New Years Resolutions for 2002

- I will pay someone to host this site so I can use banners and proper comments.
- I will go to Blog-Con 2002 in August this year.
- I will do a redesign at least twice and update my links.
- I will not do those online tests (on my site).

I'm setting myself up to break these rather easily.