Friday, November 30, 2001

After reading about PeeWee Herman getting raided at home, I've come up with a question to ponder. If the police raided your residence with a search warrant, would you be charged with anything?
(Now before you immediately think: No child porn, or drugs, think about stolen street signs, old drug paraphernalia, any type of pictures or videos that could be construed as porn, and whatever else you sick little bastards have in your homes.)

Thursday, November 29, 2001

Funniest thing I've read in the last hour? Meredith has posted "If Santa answered his mail honestly ..."
Warning: Long Post
Its 4:15am. I'm here at work. Did I mention it's 4:15am? I couldn't sleep so I'm here as there is nothing that I want to see on TV at 4:00am. I woke up and started thinking that it has been almost 20 years since I quit school. When I turned 16 and knew everything except what I wanted to be when I aged, I went to my parents and asked them what they thought about me quitting and going into a trade. Since I wasn't exactly on the honor role at school, they said it was up to me as if it didn't work out, I could always return to school. I went into the printing trade and stuck it out until 1992 when we had a recession and everyone in middle management was getting laid off. Having a mortgage to pay, even though I was single, I went into the courier business. Now, if you're still here reading this, it's not the most glamorous field and let's face it, you don't need a degree to drive in circles. I met a girl who worked at the company, started dating and found out her parents owned the business. They offered me a position in the office as a dispatcher, and I tried it and kind of liked it. Later, I moved into a manager position and am still there today. The problem? I'm not content. It's a stressful job that is thankless and you don't exactly deal with the greatest people. It is still paying the bills and I'm thankful for that. Twenty years later and I still don't know what I want to do with my life, and truly, is there a lot of people out there who do? Is it too late to return to school? How come the traffic is so light at 4:00am?

Monday, November 26, 2001

Hoopty has made buttons to link sites and I spotted mine. This is it:

Love the hat.
I used to want to be the guy who, everytime you saw him, had a different girlfriend. I used to want to be the guy who lived alone and drove the sportscar that I couldn't afford. I used to want to be the guy who had no kids. Then I met a girl. Then we bought a house. Then we had kids. Now I want to be me and laugh at those guys who don't know what they're missing.

Friday, November 23, 2001

This sucks. I actually have to work today, while at work. There's a first for everything I guess. Don't anyone tell me that 9/11 didn't send out a ripple effect either. It seems a large unnamed American based customer is moving their mailroom offsite as they're getting too many bomb threats. They are also afraid about the anthrax thing as well as the mailroom employees are asking to wear gloves and masks. I know what you're thinking, but hey, they are mailroom employees. As if it didn't suck enough working in a mailroom already.

Thursday, November 22, 2001

Wednesday, November 21, 2001

Go out and get your snowshovel now, before the snow falls. I warned you. It's not my fault that you won't find one the day it snows.
[high-pitched voice] WooHoo, I'm back. [/high-pitched voice] Well, I survived. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be either. As I sat in the waiting area for the doctor to finish with the guy who was two guys in front of me, I couldn't help but want to get it over with and get outta there as quick as possible. Then they bring out the guy who was in getting "done", and he can't walk. They had to get him a wheelchair. That was comforting. Then the guy who's next goes, and I'll tell ya, that was a long 20 minutes. My biggest fear was the needle in the balls to freeze me, and it turns out that I hardly felt that. There wasn't much conversation as he was cutting away, and I figured, it's not the best time to get his mind off his work. Next thing you know, I'm getting up and heading to the changeroom to get dressed. I pass the waiting room and there's a new guy sitting there alone and he stops me to ask "what's it like?". It wasn't easy being the nice guy and telling this guy who looked like he had no clue to his fate, but I was honest and told him it was no big deal. I could have worked yesterday but I never get sick, so I took an extra day. Now my wife started calling me "Billy Blanks".

Friday, November 16, 2001

Hey, hey kids...it's friday. Time for the freaky friday links.

-Hillbilly Medical Terms
-Lego Porn
-My Favorite Page
-BibleMan Action Figures

Am I the only person who, when referencing a business card, dials the fax number instead of the phone number? Wow, three posts today and its only 11:00am. Must have something to do with the fact that I won't be here monday as its vasectomy day. Anyone wanna be me monday?
I was thinking last night if I'll ever be around to see a woman coaching a major league sports team. Will there ever be a woman head coach in the NFL football league? How about Baseball? I somehow think it will probably come to a NBA basketball team or a NHL hockey team before you see a woman coaching baseball or football. Don't start on with the woman president in the USA either, because that'll never happen. Hillary will not cut the mustard either. Will the first woman who becomes a head coach in major sports be white or not?
Our laundry detergent has "enzymatic action", so I know we're covered, just in case. I don't know if it got that when it became "new & improved" or not.





Thursday, November 15, 2001

I'd rather read than post today. Nothing to see here, please move on.

Wednesday, November 14, 2001

I've updated my links. They're in no particular order, so don't be jilted if you're near the bottom. I try and read these each & everyday while at work, and by the time I get through them all, everyone has written more, so I get to start all over again. Life is hell. If you're not on the list and you need to be (no-one else comes here), just let me know.
Am I the only person who drives 20 miles from home to go to a drug store? I mean, do you really want to run into someone you know while at the checkout holding ribbed condoms and a tenspot? How about running into your Mom's bridge partner while at the checkout purchasing Preperation H? Not me...I wear a disguise when I go there.

Tuesday, November 13, 2001

Last night while driving home and listening to the radio, a caller called the local radio station to report that she had just purchased gas at a station that was selling it for 53.9 cents per liter (about $1.62 per gallon). Most of the other stations had put their prices up to 62.5 per liter (about $1.88 per gallon).The woman was acting like Geraldo with Al Capone's safe. The thing is if you're Canadian, you'll notice that the gas companies put the price up every monday afternoon knowing that we're all running low from the weekend and too lazy to get gas on monday morning. So in your laziness and most likely lateness, you get punished for not filling up while half asleep. The reason I don't get over excited about the savings is because the people who are knocking over old ladies to save money are the same people who pay a dollar for a liter of bottled water.

Monday, November 12, 2001

5 Happy Thoughts
(an idea from Keith)

1. Being left alone in the house on Sunday during NFL season.
2. Waking children up on Christmas day.
3. Snowy cold day and not having to leave the house.
4. Coming home late and smelling something cooking.
5. New socks.

how about yours...

Went and saw Monsters Inc. this weekend (um...that's why we had kids) and it was cute & funny, although I thought Shrek was better. I noticed that they seem to aim most of the jokes at the adults to make it more enjoyable for them. I'll patiently wait for Harry Potter now.

Friday, November 09, 2001

My biological clock went off this morning right on time.
My inner-child tried to get me to stay home all day and watch cartoons.
My conscious wouldn't let me.
My six-sense knew I'd probably get fired.
I came into work, it was like deja-vu.

Thursday, November 08, 2001

I keep waking up at 404, then refreshing and going back to sleep. I think it has something to do with my computer.

Wednesday, November 07, 2001

So, what do Canadians have to be proud of?
1. Smarties
2. Crispy Crunch
3. Coffee Crisp
4. The size of our footballs fields and one less down (not to mention having bigger balls!)
5. Lacrosse is Canadian
6. Hockey is Canadian
7. Basketball is Canadian
8. Mr. Dress-Up can kick Mr. Roger's ass
9. Tim Horton's kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass
10. None of our Prime Ministers ever got caught banging the interns!
11. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.
12. We have the largest English population that never-ever surrendered or withdrew during any war.
13. Our civil war was a big bar fight that lasted a little over an hour.
14. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just
in time to get caught.
15. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.
16. Our elections only take one day.
17. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.
18. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.
19. We don't marry our kin-folk.
20. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, zambonis, Robertson screwdrivers, long distance, and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.
21. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.

BUT MOST IMPORTANT!

22. .... the handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on.
Stolen from: Get Some Cheese

Tuesday, November 06, 2001

Damn, I forgot the pictures from Halloween. You'll just have to wait to see me in a dress. Speaking of loosing my manliness, I overheard my wife talking on the phone about my "procedure" that I'm having Monday morning. Now all I can think about is that sharp piercing needle in my balls. Not the kind of Monday morning I was planning.

*UPDATE: The doctor just called to move my appointment to next monday (19th). Talk about prolonging the agony*

Monday, November 05, 2001

I'm jealous. Normally I don't get this way, but I've been watching alot of (illegal) American satellite television lately, and all those food ads for places like Chili's, HomeTown Buffet, and Cracker Barrel restaurants are getting to me. We have gotten a Outback Steakhouse, Applebee's and Montana's Restaurants lately, but its not enough. I want to eat breakfast at Bob Evans, lunch at Carl's Jr., and dinner at Damon's. Have I mentioned that the wife thinks we should go diet?
A friend of mine (met surfing), has started a online shopping site, and since November 23ed is the busiest shopping day of the year, I promised I'd link his site when it was up. So there you go folks, down there on the right. He will usually save you at least 5-10% or more on anything you would buy from the sites that he's linked. Get that economy moving!!
Okay, you'd think with the track record that Scooby Doo and his pals have, people would stop dressing up as ghosts and mummies to pull off their naughtyness.

Thursday, November 01, 2001

I noticed last night that the little sugar freaks started pounding on my door at 5:30pm. Isn't there an unwritten law about what time you can start whoring for candy? If there isn't, then 6:00pm is now the rule for next year. MARK THAT DOWN!! Its not easier to get your brats to eat their vegetables when they know that the gun has gone off. Also, who in the hell decided that giving out bags of stale plain chips was the way to go? It only took me 40 minutes to eat all my kid's candy while they were sleeping. I hope they like chips.