Wednesday, October 31, 2001

Happy Halloween Everyone. I know you can't answer me back because ReBlogger is on the fritz for the third time in two months. I would love to use BlogBack instead, but they're upgrading. Anyone know of any other free comments hosts that don't keep going down? You might have to email me though.

Tuesday, October 30, 2001

Question Of The Week?
If you have tickets for the World Series, do you go after "the warning"?
I had a man hold my "marbles" yesterday and I don't think that I'll ever be the same again. I got to the doctor's office and there were seven other men waiting in the four foot by six foot waiting area with the only reading material being Chatelaine magazines. I figured there might be two or three different doctors working from that office and wasn't too worried, until I noticed that only Dr. Steven Smith (real name) occupied it. It made for an uncomfortable wait while this woman was sitting there alone checking out all of us men. Who the hell brings a woman to a vasectomy clinic, and why was she checking out men who were obviously secure enough in their marriages to have another human being hold a sharp object near their manhood? They finally called my name and I scurried down the hall to the slightly bigger room without window coverings. I was told to sit on the cold metal table with a sheet of tracing paper on it, and drop pants. The doctor grabs my package and starts fondling around while explaining what my family doctor already told me, and then tells me I have to shave it before the procedure on November 12th. Great, I'll have to put up with more male pattern baldness.

Monday, October 29, 2001

Today I go see the doctor about getting "fixed". I'm pretty sure its only a consultation thing to meet the doctor and see how shaky his hands are. Had a decent weekend as we went to my sister-in-laws Halloween party on Saturday night and I dressed up as a bride. I managed to fit into the wife's wedding dress and doned a wig. I didn't shave to get the full effect, and everyone thought it was pretty funny.

Friday, October 26, 2001

Ahhh...I feel like I'm wearing new clothes. This weekend is longer as we wind back our clocks. Don't forget or you'll be early for work come Monday.

Thursday, October 25, 2001

Is it time for a redesign yet?

Wednesday, October 24, 2001

This kid gets all my candy SCOOOOBY?

The ReBlogger comments is down again. This means I can post whatever I want, and theres nothing that you can do about it. Mwahahaha. It also means that I'm considering either Blogback or SnorComments. How much do you bitch when you don't pay for any of these?

Tuesday, October 23, 2001

Usually about this time of year, half the new shows that the networks came out with have been cancelled or moved to the famous Friday night or Sunday night spot. This year theres one new show that stands out, and hopefully won't be moved to what the networks call "a better slot", which is usually the shows demise. It is called "Scrubs", and its on tonight on NBC.
I walked past the bathroom yesterday and *bam*, there it was. The brown cardboard roll was protruding through the last single ply left dangling from the roll. I had no rumbling urge to have a seat and release toxins into the American Standard, but I just couldn't pass by that dimly lit room without changing the roll. And you though there weren't any heroes left in the world...
Oh, Oh, Oh another test. This one tells you if you're an internet junkie.

Try not to spend too much time on the internet taking an internet addiction test, huh. (Link via Keith)

Monday, October 22, 2001

We ordered Chinese food the other night, and I'm wondering why this phenomenon hasn't caught on. I'd love to pick up the phone and place an order for mashed potatoes, corn, and pork chops.
This weekend the wife and I went to a small town west of Toronto, called Kitchener with two other couples that we know. They have a farmers market there, where you can buy all kinds of crap that you have no use for, and some crap that you can. There's allot of Mennonite or Amish (I can't tell the difference, can you?) people in that area, and most of them sell their wares at the farmers market. We then went into a little town near Kitchener called St.Thomas, which is a small main street with allot of quaint shops. I noticed quite a trend going on outside the stores. It seems that all the men stand outside with the shopping bags while their wife's shop. Why do we even go?

Friday, October 19, 2001

Every time I've had to phone a customer lately, I've noticed that the person who answers the call will ask me "can I tell him/her who's calling?", and I'm starting to use aliases. At first I was tempted to say "No, you can't", but figured I'd sit in purgatory waiting for my call to be transferred. Its amazing how many people don't catch on when I say I'm Lee Iacocca, Hugh Downs, Milton Berle, or even Boney M.
Hey-hey kids, its Friday. We all know what Friday means:

Drug Calculator: (in case you're too stoned)
How Good In Bed?:
Are You The Perfect Porn Star?
Rune's Bag Collection: (you thought saving stamps was strange)

Thursday, October 18, 2001

Since I'm being threatened alot lately by bill collectors, do you think some of them may catch on and start sending Antrax instead of just empty threats?
My mother-in-law who is a shopaholic, bought my son a SpongeBob Squarepants outfit for Halloween, although we can't let him see it, as he'll wear it around the house everyday til the 31st. Did I mention that once mother-in-law tried to curb her shopping, and the Home Shopping Channel called her to see if everything was okay?

Wednesday, October 17, 2001

I noticed something strange the other day (where have I heard this before?). I was watching the movie "Castaway" with Tom Hanks the other night as there wasn't anything on the other 400 channels, and the wife asked me "didn't we just watch that a month ago?". Yes, as a matter of fact, we did and I just brushed her off with "there's nothing else on". Then I got thinking (which in turn, makes me miss the movie as I can only do one function at a time), most women I know will not watch a movie twice. Most men would watch a movie they like everyday if they had nothing else to do, and no matter how long ago a woman saw the movie, they have no need to see it again.

Tuesday, October 16, 2001

Sometimes I get the wackiest eMails, but I always play along. Case in point:

Noah: Do you like ice cream?
Me: um...yes...any reason you ask?
Noah: Neat. Do you have a favorite flavor?
Me: Yes.
Noah: And you're neglecting to share?
Me: HISSSSSS *covering bowl*
Noah: Closet vanilla lover.

I won't try to explain the eMail about "if you have info on how to make this famous bikini pls email it to me".

Monday, October 15, 2001

With all this Anthrax crap going around, can't stop thinking about those dedicated posties.
And the day only gets better. One of my daily reads has given it up. She recently was laid off because of internet use and hopefully this is just a temporary thing. I'm so bloo...
I pulled a muscle in my lower back and am now walking around like the Hunchback from Norte Dame. I came into work, set up the coffee maker and went away. I came back to get a cup and the light was on, but the pot was empty. It seems the pump inside is gone, and won't make my steamy black goo from the Gods. It's only 8:10am, and I've resorted to licking the sides of the coffee machine. How's your Monday going?

Friday, October 12, 2001

Last night I stopped by Subway for sups. I noticed that they had a sign up stating that they were no longer taking 50 or 100 dollar bills, due to counterfeits. I didn't think much of it until later after eating my sub (Subway Club on Hearty Italian - thanks for asking), when I was getting gas and noticed that they too had a sign stating that they no longer accepted bills in denominations over $20.00 . What's the point in printing these bills if no-one wants to take them and they're so easily reproduced? Next time I'm in the bank at the teller (that'll happen...machine is my friend), I'll tell them that I no longer accept these bills.
Can you tell that I like to redesign about every two weeks? I need to someone who knows this stuff as it usually takes me hours to set archives and place a comment thingy and we won't even talk about links. Hopefully you like it, and if you don't like the colour , font or type size...change it.

Wednesday, October 10, 2001

Hmmm..kinda always knew this:
Waste more minutes off your life
I know, but everyone else was doing it mom.

Friday, October 05, 2001

Some Friday freaky links for you guys:

Ultimate Cube
The Dennis Rodman Hair Archive
Am I Drunk or Not? (no relation to Paige's Hot or Not)

Enjoy working while we're having Canadian Thanksgiving...gobble, gobble.

Thursday, October 04, 2001

Mackenzie is okay. After sitting in the hospital doing tests for three hours, waiting for three hours in total between consults and having person after person ask us the same questions, and have two student doctors check her out, the doctor finally told us that it will most likely mend itself. Even if it doesn't, they say that they can go in through a vein in her leg and mend it without having major surgery. They set up an appointment for April 2004, to access her then. Now, if only I can find a 2004 calendar to write that down on...

Thanks to everyone for the well wishes, it meant alot.

Tuesday, October 02, 2001

As most of you know by now, I don't often mention family on my site unless I'm talking about my wife cutting the grass instead of waiting for me to do it. I don't really like other sites that only talk about their family, and unless your kid sees dead people, no-one cares. Tomorrow we are taking my 10 month old daughter Mackenzie to Toronto's Hospital for Sick Children because our family doctor has discovered a hole in her heart. Now at first, this was devastating news to us, as we knew nothing about it, let alone how big it was. We then found out that this is very common, and since Big Mac (as I like to call her) is above normal in size, weight and activity, there is little to worry about. Normally when a doctor says that, you don't worry, but I still can't help it. Wish her luck.

Monday, October 01, 2001

Went shopping for jeans this weekend as its getting colder and none of my pants fit. There, I said it. After trying on about three pairs of pants that weren't ever going to fit me again, I settled on a perfect pair. I glanced at the label and realized that I had settled on a pair that were 36" length x 36" height. I am officially the square root of myself.
Finally, eBay has something I could use. Actually, alot of people might want this for someone they know.